Dear Diary...

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Truth is known only to its victims;
Life tells the biggest lies of all,
And draws wages from itself

Twisting Illusions

Franchesca, Ches
23 Sep 1991
SACian before
Thespian now

I gazed up above
Counting every star
With hands grasp tightly
Wishing the fire would never burn out

I called, I screamed, I yelled
Not once did you turn
Now with my faded voice
I longed for illusions

Even if it's a lie,
Tell me what i want to hear

Christine Teo

David

Esther Tay

Hui Shuang

Jasmine Foo
Jingle Bells
Justina Gay

Kel Lim
Kel Relationshits

Leon
Lynn

Rachel

Sherri Chong
Serene
Skye

Wendy

曲翔之

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Thursday, 29 January 2009

Hi. Now, "hi" is the only word that's in my head. Probably because there are too many things flashing in my head, it's a little difficult to organise them now.

Got a phone call in the morning telling me that my audition is on 31 Jan at 10.30am. Gosh, that's like so sudden. How am I to prepare a monologue, poem and song in a day =.= ?! I have my Chingay performance starting from tomorrow. Right...

Though my back's pain had not subsided, that pain didn't hurt me as much as the pain for Miaka. It hurts and is still hurting.. Each action, sound or feel that would trigger my memory of her would be enough to make me breakdown. I've cried a lot, almost up to a litre of tears soon. Crying a few times in a day was also normal now. Each memory just hurt me badly. I kept hearing her footsteps or bell sounds in which I would immediately react to. I combed the area but yet it's fruitless.

I want her. I want her still. I want to touch her. I want to hug her. I want to be by her side always. I really do~~
These desires rings and shouts continueouesly in my head. Each desire hits me with a hard impact which always makes me land in tears.

In front of people, I'll smile and laugh but that's just the act. However, when I'm alone, I would really feel alone. Loneliness is my best friend now. Friends tried hard to cheer me up and I'm grateful for that. My mood did improved. I told myself, "Miaka is somewhere out there. So long as I believe for long, hope for long and wish hard, she'll come back to me." I hold on to this belief to comfort myself.

Be back another time, I'm going out for my dinner~~