Dear Diary...

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Truth is known only to its victims;
Life tells the biggest lies of all,
And draws wages from itself

Twisting Illusions

Franchesca, Ches
23 Sep 1991
SACian before
Thespian now

I gazed up above
Counting every star
With hands grasp tightly
Wishing the fire would never burn out

I called, I screamed, I yelled
Not once did you turn
Now with my faded voice
I longed for illusions

Even if it's a lie,
Tell me what i want to hear

Christine Teo

David

Esther Tay

Hui Shuang

Jasmine Foo
Jingle Bells
Justina Gay

Kel Lim
Kel Relationshits

Leon
Lynn

Rachel

Sherri Chong
Serene
Skye

Wendy

曲翔之

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Thursday, 11 March 2010

When people asked you, what do you want to be in the future, do you know how to answer?
I don't know how to answer. I've thought of many job aspects but it changes as time to come. And when I did change my mind, I thought to myself, "why did I think of doing that?"

When it was time to choose my course of study, I fought my way through arguements and I got what I wanted. I thought that I was right then, my parents didn't understand me, and I knew why I made that choice. However, do I really know?

Now that I've reached this point, things became more uncomfortable than it had been, and I looked back and think. My lecturer said " 'If only..' are two very powerful words..". I regreted my decisions. My lecturers who I had spoke to said, "It's okay if you had noticed that now because not all are suited for the course and if you are really uncomfortable, it's alright to stop." However, would some of us think that way? I happened to think otherwise. Am I wrong too?

"If only I wasn't stubborn..", "If only I didn't insist on having my way.." and "If only I had listen to them to finish just that very one sentence.." would things have been different? Would time and money be saved? Would I be able to save myself from these uncomfort? These were and are the questions that floods my mind.

You may think I'm weird, I'm indecisive, I'm right, I'm wrong, I'm frickle-minded or anything else, but it's fine by me. I'm stuck in crossroad where all directions seemed either blur or of a dead end. "Give it a think", you might say, but all I do is think. Maybe I am thinking a little too hard? I need to have a decision soon and give my replies to those whom I had spoke.

Once of a mistake is fine but would the second me alright?