Dear Diary...

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Truth is known only to its victims;
Life tells the biggest lies of all,
And draws wages from itself

Twisting Illusions

Franchesca, Ches
23 Sep 1991
SACian before
Thespian now

I gazed up above
Counting every star
With hands grasp tightly
Wishing the fire would never burn out

I called, I screamed, I yelled
Not once did you turn
Now with my faded voice
I longed for illusions

Even if it's a lie,
Tell me what i want to hear

Christine Teo

David

Esther Tay

Hui Shuang

Jasmine Foo
Jingle Bells
Justina Gay

Kel Lim
Kel Relationshits

Leon
Lynn

Rachel

Sherri Chong
Serene
Skye

Wendy

曲翔之

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Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Talk about something ridiculous first. Guess what, people thinks that I'm flirting with Jesper. Oh my gosh, when did something like that ever cross their minds?! Like, what the hell! That really bothered me.

Anyways, the thing that's on my mind now is THIS issue. Like normal. Since I don't know who to talk to about, I'll say it here. He and me, hais. Initially, I thought he was avoiding me, so I avoided in somewhat. Now that I'm trying to approach him, even as a friend, I got the vibe that he's avoiding me still. That's fine, I suppose. I can always tune into that, as time pass that is.

However, what upset me most is to feel non-existant. It's not as though I can not see him everyday or something. If I try to avoid him now, he'll definitely know. Yet, if I remain to hang out with him, I get to be invisible man. Damn cool. Because of his reaction towards me, I sometimes wonder if I'm annoying or irritating him. Maybe I am towards him. I'm acknowledged when I'm needed or useful. Life suck. I don't know what to do. Probably I'll stick to this, hanging out with him as per normal. Kill two birds in one stone. I get to be invisible man while hanging out with him! Awesome.

At times, like now, when I'm most upset by it, I want to talk. However, I do not know who to talk to. I tell you, there are times when it hurt so much that I feel like crying. It just hurt. Where is safe for me to cry? Who can I cry to? Will you keep me company?