|
it's all around
Life tells the biggest lies of all, And draws wages from itself Twisting Illusions crack start
23 Sep 1991 SACian before Thespian now however long it seemed
Counting every star With hands grasp tightly Wishing the fire would never burn out I called, I screamed, I yelled Not once did you turn Now with my faded voice I longed for illusions Even if it's a lie, Tell me what i want to hear Lies OUT
David Esther Tay Hui Shuang Jasmine Foo Jingle Bells Justina Gay Kel Lim Kel Relationshits Leon Lynn Rachel Sherri Chong Serene Skye Wendy 曲翔之 Credits Given Layout By: Trina |
Monday, 30 May 2011 This morning at 1am, I phoned her and made a few adjustments to our relationship.Since we had been arguing so much and is getting us nowhere, I thought of renewing. Restarting would be highly impossible now, so renewing would be the only way out, that was what I thought. This way, I thought things might improve and would last. I changed our status from a close relationship to an open one, with no strings attached. I thought this would make ourselves more at ease 'cos in a close r/s we feel obliged or restricted in one way or another. Good way to start to enter each of our comfort zone without knowing. All of us starts off as friends then close friends then lovers, but we had skipped the friends and close friends part which make things awkward and just weird. This is the massive awkward situation which I am in, how retarded. I am not someone who does something like this! So I suggested to start by calling me by name, Ches for short. However, when I phoned her telling her about the plan, she was dissatisfied with the idea. I swore she was. You could tell from her tone of voice and her sentence structure. Then came a text later in the day and I was insulted by it. "wrt to an open r/s, what I can think of is that you might slip away easily. Another thought is, what slips away easily, isn't worth my time and efforts to hold on tightly onto. In time to come, we'll see if you're worth it then." I was utterly dumbfounded when I read that. "WTF." was my only thought. Then again, probably it was just me who found that insulting. I didn't know how to reply 'cos she told me that it sounded okay to her. After lunch, another text from her came explaining that she was worried that during this open r/s period, I might slip away or that my feelings for her would fade. Kinda got the idea of what she wanted to tell me and my anger was appeased. Later again she tried to rephrase but I told her that she might want to stop rephrasing 'cos it was starting to get offending again. Honestly, I am still bothered by that text even though I know what she meant now. I can't seemed to get it out of my head! AHHH! Oh wells, work it off later! Hehehe xD That's how things started off for me. Well, I should say this is a start and hope this would work and last. There would be many things on the way which I wouldn't understand or get lost or confused, but I guess that's just life. I can't undo what's done but can only amend. During the process, I am grateful towards some real great friends who supported me. Thanks n love them loads x)
|
